I think I was doing alright pursuing the Styling and VM thing. But to be honest, it was really hard work and physically draining and I didn’t LOVE it. I’m never been work shy, I’ve had a job since 16 years old. But I came to the conclusion that if I have to work this hard, I might as well follow my dreams to work independently as an Artist/Designer. I spent 4 months out of work (frustration!) and found a great little job early that I can do alongside developing what I really want to do. I’ve never had so much freedom to do what I want creatively. The great little job allowed me to move from the deep dark depths of Arnos Grove to EC1 Clerkenwell, where things are more colourful (miracles happen sometimes). But they say when you’re moving forwards it can be like you move two steps forward and then one back. This time has been transitional to say the least.
I recently heard a talk about climbing Mount Killamanjaro. To keep climbing higher, you have to keep coming down a little at the end of each day to help your body adjust to the altitude. The climb was an effort to raise money for A21 an Anti-human trafficking campaign. But was so taxing that there were points along the way that climber Cathy said to herself ‘I don’t care about human trafficking anymore’. She did reach the top and her group ‘climb4freedom’ raised £103,633,.99. I can relate to the flippant mind set of not caring and wanting to give up.
I’ve always wanted to live centrally, in a more inspiring location, and have more creative freedom but it was overwhelming at first. I was adjusted to my grotty north London life style and it was hard to make a change. So I decided to do something crazy and drove across the USA with two friends. NYC to LA. Get some vision and inspiration. Nothing like a big challenge (or a 3 week holiday)to de stress and feel stronger. Driving through Kansas there were green pastures from left to right that went on forever and a 180 degree sky. It was the biggest bluest sky I’ve ever seen. There were mountains of every kind. Rocky/snowy/ straw/pine trees-
You know New York was big and I loved LA But I’m so glad we stoped through Columbus Ohio, Salt lake/Death valley/ Utah, Santa Clara/ Stockton, because in between them, I saw some of the most beautiful, unexpected wonders I couldn’t have wished to see. I find it really hard to appreciate the journey sometimes cause I’m always idealising about the future instead of realising the beauty of now. Now can be ugly, uncomfortable, lonely, uncertain, unfashionable and even desperate. But it’s in the moments when you push on that the most magnificent wonders occur. The car journey was long…… long, long, long. 3 weeks felt like 3 months. I took this time to draw and take photographs. I completely forgot the joy of just doing a drawing, with out the pressure of doing A GREAT drawing. You can actually get into a habit that way, which might actually lead to great drawing at some point. So now I’m accepting, this is a journey. And I shall draw and be grateful for the life I’m living. That’s enough for me right now and I’m absolutely beaming.
Onwards and upwards Soldiers,
Kat
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